It's Okay not to be O.K

It’s in sadness that the internet has been flooded with tributes, posts and comments regarding the untimely loss of Robin Williams; comedy genius and, according to family, friends and cast mates, the nicest man you’d ever meet.

Once someone has killed themselves, it is easy to look back and say you always knew it would happen – the sentiment of ‘always being able to see the sadness around their eyes’ comes far too easily to people who don’t know what else to say. The truth is, unless you followed Robin William’s life closely, you probably didn’t have any inkling that this would be the path he’d take; neither did I.

According to press, and to me it sounds quite likely, Kate Middleton had various counselling sessions before her announcement that she would be joining the Royal Family – a set of strict events that has been put in place to prevent situations like Princess Diana happening again. Whilst pregnant with Prince William, Diana is said to have thrown herself not only down the stairs but also into a glass cabinet before taking further actions to end her life. (Diana did not successfully commit suicide; however she was killed in a car accident in France, August 1997. This incident is surrounded in speculation, controversy and conspiracy but a large percentage of people choose to believe the accident was just that; an accident.) From the outside looking in, it would seem Kate Middleton has adjusted well to life as a Royal and is blossoming into her role as mother to Prince George, born July 2013. However, who is to know what happens behind closed doors; the Robin Williams case illustrates that we don’t.

Certain celebrities have been more open with their depression diagnoses; Demi Lovato, Winona Ryder and Eminem are just to name a few. Lovato sought treatment for Bipolar Disorder, Bulimia and Drug Addiction in October 2010 and has since become a Mental Health advocate, raising awareness of depression and sober living.  Winona Ryder is said to have spiraled into depression after her break-up with actor Johnny Depp, falling asleep with cigarettes lit and setting herself on fire gave her the mindset to seek treatment. 

For more information on mental illness, please have a read of the following links, and don’t be afraid to ask anyone questions –

Mind Charity
http://www.mind.org.uk/

The Mental Health Foundation
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Rethink Mental Illness
http://www.rethink.org/

This post isn’t meant to be a list of suicidal celebrities and what they’re doing now, it’s meant to be the reassurance that all these once suicidal people are now doing things – they’ve come through it, and most importantly I think they’ve accepted that it’s okay to not be okay. 

I’ll say it again, because I know we all struggle to hear it sometimes. 

It’s okay to not be okay. 

To all my friends that I don’t ask enough - how are you? I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realise that sometimes that’s all you need. If you have friends you haven’t spoken to in a while – just ask them how they’re doing. Sometimes it’s nice to know that someone’s thinking of you even if it’s just fleeting. I don’t want to be on your mind all the time, just for a minute when you see something that reminds me of you. 

When I get sad, and just because I do it doesn’t mean I’m depressed (people are allowed down days), I try to think about the Hugh Grant quote from Love, Actually. I’m sure you know the one I mean, but I’ll put it in anyway because it’s a nice read. 

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions are starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

If you are sad, and I haven’t noticed, I am sorry. Find someone who you love or who loves you and feel special - because you are, any of you; all of you. I don’t want this post to be gushy and awkward, I just think it’s important that people understand that even in the darkest moments there will always be someone who loves you – even if it is just me.  

Being sad does not make you weird; we all get sad. Sometimes I have days where I can stub my toe ,or run out of coffee, and cry for hours. People of the world, please make sure your friends know that you love them even if it takes extra time out of your day; I can guarantee that it’ll do you good too – good deeds make everyone feel good. 

Want someone to talk to?
Samaritans UK - 08457 909090 (All)
Calm: 0800 585858 (Men, aged 18-35)
HopeLine UK – 0800 068 4141 (Young People, in general)
Me: LTBrookman@gmail.com (Anyone and everyone.) 

For those on the ledge, please realise suicide is final. No second chances, no negotiations, no plea bargains. You are worth more than that. I believe in you.

First Writing Job Post-Uni - PANIC.

When I was a child I yearned to be an actress; stage, screen – you name it. And after much performance training and long ballet classes, as well as GCSE’s and a BTEC in Performing Arts I decided I wasn’t as competitive as the profession needed me to be (however, I do still belt out the Musical Theatre classics in the shower).  Acting and musicals were my childhood; my grandma and I used to spend Saturdays (and her pension) visiting West End Musicals and I still have a giant box of programs collected over the years. My adolescence was spent performing in college shows and enjoying Amateur Dramatics with Second To None Theatre Company, based in Kent, but when I came to University that all changed.

At Winchester University, I never took a dance class, I never joined the Performing Arts society – I started writing, editing and writing and editing, and writing and editing. It’s only now that I’ve realised, post-degree, that the writing-world is very similar to that of the acting/performance world. Everyone thinks they can do it, very few can. I am still yet to know if I can do the writing thing. However, I did take on my first freelance job last week. Not something I’d planned to do, but enjoyable and beneficial nonetheless.

A friend, Simon, runs a Television Studio company and he’s putting on an event in Boston this September. His PA is currently on holiday, and his ‘people’ surprised him by asking for their Health & Safety document, complete with schedule and risk assessment, three weeks too early. This is where I came in, Simon is a friend of a friend, and our mutual friend Cassi suggested me to help him out.

With no previous Health & Safety knowledge, I was incredibly dubious and nervous to even agree to help – I just didn’t want to let either Cassi or Simon down. However, I turned up eager and ready to work. A semi-stressful day and a half later and the work was finished and I was really happy with the work I’d put into the document.

Even though Health & Safety isn’t something that I want to do, and it’s not as ‘creative’ as I’d like to be writing, I am eternally grateful for the experience (and the pay, believe me!).  I am also so glad that there were people around who thought that I could do it, even when I thought I couldn’t.  Who am I to be writing about Health & Safety? I am perpetually smashing things and I’m always peppered by black and blue bruises. A bull in a china shop comes to mind, actually. A bull in a china shop, whilst copywriting. 

So, although it’s not my writing-world ‘big-break’ it’s certainly a step in the right direction. It’s inspired me to get on with my own stuff; to blog more regularly, to read more, to learn more – all so I have more to offer, more knowledge, more opinions and more practise under my belt. If something is true of both acting and writing worlds it’s that if you have a spare moment; practise. Practise doesn’t always make perfect, but it makes better than the time before. That’s pretty much all I can offer at this stage in the game, that I am better at life than I was yesterday, and here’s hoping that that’s good enough.

I’ve copied in some useful websites and things that keep me inspired and interested just because I know how shit it is to be ‘stuck’.

Ideas Tap is a completely free website that lists job opportunities, information and inspirational videos and articles to keep things fresh in your mind.

You The Designer is an awesome, slightly more visual, creative inspiration space that provides ideas on typography, graphic design as well as downloadable freebies.

And last, for today, Pinterest. Be it with interior design, quotes, fashion or recipes this website is awash with bright ideas and creative inspirations that keep me awake for hours when I really should be sleeping.