It's Okay not to be O.K

It’s in sadness that the internet has been flooded with tributes, posts and comments regarding the untimely loss of Robin Williams; comedy genius and, according to family, friends and cast mates, the nicest man you’d ever meet.

Once someone has killed themselves, it is easy to look back and say you always knew it would happen – the sentiment of ‘always being able to see the sadness around their eyes’ comes far too easily to people who don’t know what else to say. The truth is, unless you followed Robin William’s life closely, you probably didn’t have any inkling that this would be the path he’d take; neither did I.

According to press, and to me it sounds quite likely, Kate Middleton had various counselling sessions before her announcement that she would be joining the Royal Family – a set of strict events that has been put in place to prevent situations like Princess Diana happening again. Whilst pregnant with Prince William, Diana is said to have thrown herself not only down the stairs but also into a glass cabinet before taking further actions to end her life. (Diana did not successfully commit suicide; however she was killed in a car accident in France, August 1997. This incident is surrounded in speculation, controversy and conspiracy but a large percentage of people choose to believe the accident was just that; an accident.) From the outside looking in, it would seem Kate Middleton has adjusted well to life as a Royal and is blossoming into her role as mother to Prince George, born July 2013. However, who is to know what happens behind closed doors; the Robin Williams case illustrates that we don’t.

Certain celebrities have been more open with their depression diagnoses; Demi Lovato, Winona Ryder and Eminem are just to name a few. Lovato sought treatment for Bipolar Disorder, Bulimia and Drug Addiction in October 2010 and has since become a Mental Health advocate, raising awareness of depression and sober living.  Winona Ryder is said to have spiraled into depression after her break-up with actor Johnny Depp, falling asleep with cigarettes lit and setting herself on fire gave her the mindset to seek treatment. 

For more information on mental illness, please have a read of the following links, and don’t be afraid to ask anyone questions –

Mind Charity
http://www.mind.org.uk/

The Mental Health Foundation
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

Rethink Mental Illness
http://www.rethink.org/

This post isn’t meant to be a list of suicidal celebrities and what they’re doing now, it’s meant to be the reassurance that all these once suicidal people are now doing things – they’ve come through it, and most importantly I think they’ve accepted that it’s okay to not be okay. 

I’ll say it again, because I know we all struggle to hear it sometimes. 

It’s okay to not be okay. 

To all my friends that I don’t ask enough - how are you? I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realise that sometimes that’s all you need. If you have friends you haven’t spoken to in a while – just ask them how they’re doing. Sometimes it’s nice to know that someone’s thinking of you even if it’s just fleeting. I don’t want to be on your mind all the time, just for a minute when you see something that reminds me of you. 

When I get sad, and just because I do it doesn’t mean I’m depressed (people are allowed down days), I try to think about the Hugh Grant quote from Love, Actually. I’m sure you know the one I mean, but I’ll put it in anyway because it’s a nice read. 

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions are starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

If you are sad, and I haven’t noticed, I am sorry. Find someone who you love or who loves you and feel special - because you are, any of you; all of you. I don’t want this post to be gushy and awkward, I just think it’s important that people understand that even in the darkest moments there will always be someone who loves you – even if it is just me.  

Being sad does not make you weird; we all get sad. Sometimes I have days where I can stub my toe ,or run out of coffee, and cry for hours. People of the world, please make sure your friends know that you love them even if it takes extra time out of your day; I can guarantee that it’ll do you good too – good deeds make everyone feel good. 

Want someone to talk to?
Samaritans UK - 08457 909090 (All)
Calm: 0800 585858 (Men, aged 18-35)
HopeLine UK – 0800 068 4141 (Young People, in general)
Me: LTBrookman@gmail.com (Anyone and everyone.) 

For those on the ledge, please realise suicide is final. No second chances, no negotiations, no plea bargains. You are worth more than that. I believe in you.

"Chubby"

It makes me absolutely crazy that people on the internet have the nerve to call a Demi Lovato fat. Chubby is such an ugly word, why do people think that they can throw it around and not affect anyone?

Tell me you don't like her music, fine - that's your opinion. 

Tell me you think she's fat, and that's none of your business. 

If Demi Lovato is fat, then dear God please let me wake up fat tomorrow. 

Lovato has graced the covers of an insane number of magazines, including; Teen Vogue, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, Latina, Cosmo On Campus, Nylon, Dolly, Sugar, Cosmo Girl, Atrevida, Self, Elle Girl and many more. More than once often enough. 

If anyone, male or female, can look at these photos and tell me they do not think she looks happy and healthy then they are lying. 

Struggling through rehab for an eating disorder and coming out shining, Demi has earned the respect of thousands. She definitely has not earned the online fat shaming that is being thrown her way. People who use the words "chubby" or "fat" don't know what it can do to a person, especially a person with known insecurities on the subject.  I can only be assumed that the bullies, because that's what they are, using this cheap way to insult someone because they are overcompensating - attempting to hide something about themselves. 

Having won 64 awards across the board, including an MTV Music Video award, two Do Something awards, three ALMA awards, five People's Choice awards and eleven Teen Choice Awards, there is no way anyone can contest Lovato's professional prowess and accomplishment. 

Why try and bring someone down when they clearly are doing so well, post-recovery? 

If I could count the number of ways I'm jealous of not only Lovato's success but her looks, and talent I would run out of fingers a thousand times over. 

Maybe she's not everyone's ideal singer/actress/philanthropist but that's no reason to call them something, that you don't how they'll react to. It's never a joke, and it doesn't matter if you "didn't really mean it" - don't say it. Don't put it online. 

I for one, know that Lovato is stronger that I could ever be. She has more will power than I could ever possess and is better looking than I feel I will ever be. She gives so many people hope, so what gives you the right to take hers away? 

 

Sober Is Sexy

“You don’t need drugs to have fun but you do need Sober Is Sexy to look good...”

Sober Is Sexy is a Los Angeles based clothing line - but it’s not only that. Oh no. Founders Hanna Beth (@HannaBeth) Bori Mischief (@BoriMischief) and Hayley Moriston (@GoAskHayley) believe that Sober Is Sexy is not only a clothing line, but also a motto and a movement. The pressure for teens, American, English or anywhere else in the world , to engage in taking various substances is massive and it’s only growing.

Sober Is Sexy (@SoberIsSexy) has sky rocketed since the launch in October of 2010 and that can only reflect on teenagers believing in themselves to say no their friends and to make their own decisions.

T-Shirts emblazoned with “Heroin Killed The Radio Star...” and “The Only Coke I Do Is Diet...” are being sported by some of the hottest young talent in LA as well as the regular American teenagers. For example Demi Lovato (@DDLovato) , the young Hollywood starlet known best for her roles in Disney’s Camp Rock 1 and 2 as well as her hit TV-show Sonny With A Chance, has been through a number of trials and tribulations in the last few years, involving alcohol and issues with self medication,  which resulted in a three-month long stay at Timberline Knolls.
Timberline Knolls is a leading residential treatment centre in the US (near Chicago) which helps women struggling with eating disorders, alcoholism, drug addiction, mood disorders, trauma and PTSD. Lovato entered the treatment centre only to be released a few incredibly tough months later with a life saving plan and the inspiration to get back on track – since then, she has also been a firm supporter of the Sober Is Sexy brand, being photographed sporting their goods around the US and most importantly drumming the motto that sobriety is attractive in young women into her fans across the globe.

When Twitter explodes with hashtags including; #SoberIsSexy  and #SoberIsTheNewBlack it gives me hope for our generation. We don’t have to be the way people label us. I know, just as anyone who doesn’t drink whilst at University, that it can be difficult in certain situations but I would rather stand up for myself and what I have come to believe in than ruin my night out because of social acceptability.

Sober Is Sexy ship worldwide, so check them out.
http://soberisexy.bigcartel.com/products
(5% of all the sales from the Sober Is Sexy website goes to a new substance addiction and abuse organisation which changes every six months. Currently it’s Friendly House LA (@FriendlyHouseLA.)