Not Feeling 22 [I don't know about you...]

I don’t know about you, I’m really not feeling 22. I don’t want to be 22. Not like this, anyway. I’m not saying Taylor Swift was wrong (because she never is, like ever) all I’m saying is maybe her 22 is a different 22 to mine. 

My 22 is definitely not about nights forgetting about deadlines because believe me; they’re around every bloody corner. However, she did hit the nail on the head with breakfast at midnight. I appear to have regressed back to the phase of eating four consecutive meals solely consisting of cereal, followed by a bacon sandwich at 1am. 

Places are always too crowded and there are always too many cool kids but I haven’t yet grown up enough to ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming instead of sleeping. All of the cool kids look at me, exactly the same way they used to at college and at schools before that. My hair isn’t ‘quite’ right and I can try to fit in as much as I want, but it’s a square peg round hole kind of situation I think.

If this is 22, then please may I have 21 back? I don't want to be 22. 

The weather is terrible for May/June which isn't helping, I have apparently developed some sort of killer acid reflux which makes me feel like the inside of my body is on fire and my MA is vanishing before my eyes which means I have to join the real world soon which, God knows, I'm not ready for (I'm also not sure the real world is ready either...) 

Things that suck about turning 22;

1. In eight years, I'll be thirty. 

2. In three years, people will start rounding my age to thirty rather than twenty.

3. 22 sounds a lot more responsible and grown up than 21. 21 sounds like fun. 

4. I was watching an old episode of Grey's Anatomy yesterday; it was the episode when Christina Ricci's cameo character has her hand on a bomb in a body cavity. She screams "I can't do this, I'm only 22." - Christina Ricci's character is a freaking paramedic at 22, I still cut myself shaving and bleed all over the bathroom floor convincing myself I'm going to haemorrhage out and die.  So, in short I’m lacking in sensible adult knowledge, but I can spell haemorrhage. 

5. People expect you to know what you're doing with the rest of your life all of a sudden, and they didn't when you're 21. When you're 21 you get away with being footloose and fancy free, now it's all "What're you doing in September?" "What do you plan on doing after your MA?" "How's your rent/council tax/utility bills working out?" "How much do you have saved?"

6. Suddenly you have to start eating properly. My friends now judge me when I say all I've eaten for three days is Frosties. Suddenly, having a can of Monster for lunch isn't acceptable. 

7. It gets to 11pm and I'm like... "Ooh. If I shower now, I can be in bed and asleep by midnight." 

8. Now, my body apparently considers 9am, a lie in. 

9. I actually tell people off in the streets now. I told a man off on the tube the other day and I told a kid off on the train yesterday. I'm becoming that grumpy old person who doesn't enjoy merriment. 

10. My life now revolves around washing machine cycles and train times, food expiration dates and when the last time I washed my sheets was. 

I'm sure there are more, but also - I hope there are upsides to 22. If there are, I'd like them to make themselves known pretty damn speedy. 

“I think 22 is a metaphor for embracing the fact that you don’t know anything in life, everything is uncertain and embracing the excitement of that uncertainty is what youth is supposed to be about.” – Taylor Swift.

I would like things to be a little more certain, please.