Not Feeling 22 [I don't know about you...]

I don’t know about you, I’m really not feeling 22. I don’t want to be 22. Not like this, anyway. I’m not saying Taylor Swift was wrong (because she never is, like ever) all I’m saying is maybe her 22 is a different 22 to mine. 

My 22 is definitely not about nights forgetting about deadlines because believe me; they’re around every bloody corner. However, she did hit the nail on the head with breakfast at midnight. I appear to have regressed back to the phase of eating four consecutive meals solely consisting of cereal, followed by a bacon sandwich at 1am. 

Places are always too crowded and there are always too many cool kids but I haven’t yet grown up enough to ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming instead of sleeping. All of the cool kids look at me, exactly the same way they used to at college and at schools before that. My hair isn’t ‘quite’ right and I can try to fit in as much as I want, but it’s a square peg round hole kind of situation I think.

If this is 22, then please may I have 21 back? I don't want to be 22. 

The weather is terrible for May/June which isn't helping, I have apparently developed some sort of killer acid reflux which makes me feel like the inside of my body is on fire and my MA is vanishing before my eyes which means I have to join the real world soon which, God knows, I'm not ready for (I'm also not sure the real world is ready either...) 

Things that suck about turning 22;

1. In eight years, I'll be thirty. 

2. In three years, people will start rounding my age to thirty rather than twenty.

3. 22 sounds a lot more responsible and grown up than 21. 21 sounds like fun. 

4. I was watching an old episode of Grey's Anatomy yesterday; it was the episode when Christina Ricci's cameo character has her hand on a bomb in a body cavity. She screams "I can't do this, I'm only 22." - Christina Ricci's character is a freaking paramedic at 22, I still cut myself shaving and bleed all over the bathroom floor convincing myself I'm going to haemorrhage out and die.  So, in short I’m lacking in sensible adult knowledge, but I can spell haemorrhage. 

5. People expect you to know what you're doing with the rest of your life all of a sudden, and they didn't when you're 21. When you're 21 you get away with being footloose and fancy free, now it's all "What're you doing in September?" "What do you plan on doing after your MA?" "How's your rent/council tax/utility bills working out?" "How much do you have saved?"

6. Suddenly you have to start eating properly. My friends now judge me when I say all I've eaten for three days is Frosties. Suddenly, having a can of Monster for lunch isn't acceptable. 

7. It gets to 11pm and I'm like... "Ooh. If I shower now, I can be in bed and asleep by midnight." 

8. Now, my body apparently considers 9am, a lie in. 

9. I actually tell people off in the streets now. I told a man off on the tube the other day and I told a kid off on the train yesterday. I'm becoming that grumpy old person who doesn't enjoy merriment. 

10. My life now revolves around washing machine cycles and train times, food expiration dates and when the last time I washed my sheets was. 

I'm sure there are more, but also - I hope there are upsides to 22. If there are, I'd like them to make themselves known pretty damn speedy. 

“I think 22 is a metaphor for embracing the fact that you don’t know anything in life, everything is uncertain and embracing the excitement of that uncertainty is what youth is supposed to be about.” – Taylor Swift.

I would like things to be a little more certain, please. 

One for those Tall girls....

I was in a dance school when I was younger and in the videos I'm the kid in the back, who's a least a whole head height taller than everybody else. There's one number in particular when we're all five/six and dressed up in blue and red toy soldier outfits, tap-dancing to Following The Leader from Peter Pan. I'm at least a foot taller than every other little girl in the class.

Needless to say, I've always been the tall girl. Ive always been 'the tall friend' and that's okay. Sometimes it's very easy to feel like you're in the way when you're as tall as I am, because it feels like you're so large that you're Alice when she's ten feet tall. Honestly though, It's never really bothered me that much, but I can completely understand how some taller people do feel uncomfortable with it. Being tall forces you to be slightly more extrovert than you might want to be; there's no shying away when you're towering over everyone you meet and constantly being met with "Wow, you're all aren't you!" - like, thanks. That is brand new information. "You should be a dancer, you're so tall!" "You're like...model tall." And the old favourite that gets dragged out at every family event "Wow, you don't get any shorter do you! How tall are you now?"

Here I'm wearing flats and my three girls are wearing heels.

There are a million upsides to being tall, don't get me wrong. I can reach for things that others can't, I can put on more weight than shorter people can without it looking overtly obvious, I don't have to wear heels if I don't want to. Old ladies can ask me to reach their bran flakes from the top shelf and I can and it makes me feel good. You can always see at concerts, or movies... No one is ever going to borrow your shoes and forget to give them back, because they'll look like clown shoes on anyone else but you. You can get on that Indiana Jones loop-de-loop rollercoaster at Disney Land before any of your friends can... 

 

My first year of University...

 

Of course, there are also a million downsides; I know a few tall girls who have really bad posture because during their school lives they slouched to be more similar to their friends in height, sometimes people don't understand why you're willingly paying the extra £10 for extra leg room on a long haul flight (these are the same people who understand why you like aisle seats at the movies), there is so much more surface area to think about when it comes to shaving/waxing your legs - same goes with fake tanning. But my main bug-bear as we transition (slowly after all, I live in the UK) from Winter into Summer is buying (and wearing) clothes. 

 

Graduation Ball 2014 with two of my favourite girls.

 

Today, I went into three fairly big highstreet stores only to be told that they do not stock any jeans longer than a 34 leg, and when they do order their 34's in, they only order one or two pairs in because there simply isn't the demand. I felt like shouting, I'm here! I'm demanding! Ideally, I'd love a 38 leg, but a 36 could do the job nicely too. If my jeans are slightly too short in the winter, it's fine, because I'll just wear thick socks and tuck my jeans in. In the summer, I'm not really feeling thick socks and boots - I want my jeans to be long enough and I want to wear dollies, or plims, or Toms, or (heaven forbid) sandals.
Not just jeans either - Maxi dresses are not Maxi dresses. The Maxi Dresses that are designed are built for women between 5'5 and 5'9. When you're as tall as I am, those extra few inches count. Jumpsuits - same deal. I've got the longest torso of anyone I have ever known, so a jumpsuit/playsuit that fits you will definitely not fit me. Skirts, shorts, playsuits all become inappropriately short. I have not chosen super-short hoochie shorts to wear, I just have more leg than the average chick. This is not my fault.

Graduation Ball 2014

New Look used to stock a Tall range in their larger stores, but now they don't even do that; you have to order online, which I'm sure is great for some people but I don't have the time, money or patience for that. I want to go into a store on a Saturday, pick up a pair of jeans, try them on and then buy them. Whilst many girls don't have to try things on, I do because I'm tall and constantly between sizes (again not my fault) so any kind of buying online service is immediately redundant. 90% of the time, the first pair of jeans I pick up instore wont fit and I don't want the hassle of having to order ill-fitting jeans online and then go through the hassle of sending them back. I shouldn't have to. I should be able to shop for clothes with ease just like anybody else.

River Island simply just don't make jeans for tall people. 

 

Student Awards 2013

 

Topshop has a Tall range and I'm sure Levi's do long jeans too, and of course there's Long Tall Sally, but then we're venturing into a totally different budget zone. I don't have hundreds of pounds on jeans. I want to spend £20 on a pair of great fitting, long jeans but can I? Hell no.
Men, on the other hand, are expected to be tall so they can buy their jeans from wherever the hell they want to. CK Men's Jeans are awesome, ASOS are great for Men's jeans as are Levi's and I'm sure Primark and New Look's men's ranges are great too. 

 

Vegas in April 2013

I wish this was being sponsored and I could come up with a resolution for this problem I'm having, but it isn't and I don't have a solution. So, welp. I will continue searching for tall-clothes for tall-people. And I will continually ask myself "Is this dress too short for me?" when on other people it might fall below the knee. I know this is obviously such a first world problem, but needs must and all. 

 

Summer Ball 2012 - First Year at University

 

Being Honest - Boys & Girls Can Be Friends.

In this installment on WhatLexySaid, I’ll be taking the age-old and long-pondered question of whether the lads and the ladies can be, oh-so-simply, just friends.

Before I elaborate entirely, I should give a small disclaimer that yes, I do believe we can all be friends without wanting to jump each other’s bones. If you disagree, this is your stop on the train of this discussion. Time to hop off; you’re the reason that eleven year olds don’t think they can be friends with the girls in their class because of the ridicule and teasing that their mere friendship can bring.

Anyway, now that we’re left with all the open-minded folk, let’s get down to it. 

Since I started secondary school, earlier than that... since primary school, I’ve had a predominance of male friends. I remember far more of the boys names from primary school than I do the girls. Does that make seven year old me a little sauce-pot? No, it doesn’t. 

Obviously, in Secondary School there came a time when I realised maybe I wanted to spend a little more time with certain guys, but that didn’t mean that I had to feel like that about all of my male friends. I understood that, it’s the people who don’t who seem to be the problem.

My first year at University, I ended up living with a boy as well as four girls. Nothing romantic has ever happened between us, and we’re still good friends to this day. Gasp-shock-horror? What? How is that even possible? This is just the way it is.  As with most of my male friends, we never made the conscious decision to inform the other person that we weren’t attracted to each other, it was unspoken yet known. For the predominance of my third year at University, there were usually more men in my house than there were ladies and my one female housemate and I would often find ourselves coughing and spluttering in a cloud of testosterone and Lynx Africa, among other things.
We weren’t attracted to them and they weren’t either. It was that easy.

My friend Grace reminds me however “if there is a hint of something more on the table it can get messy...” and of course, in true Gracie-fashion, she’s right. But that’s okay too. As long as you’re honest with each other, there doesn’t have to be any drama. As soon as you bring sex and all those feelings into the equation, a million more questions pop up and sometimes, like Rachel says - it’s never off the table but it’s always best to keep communication lines open and talk about it.

Once I’ve been with someone romantically, can we go back to being purely-platonic friends again?
I’m going to go with yes, on this one. Yes you can go back to being friends. Whether you’ve moved on to dating someone new or not, if you want that other person in your life but not in a romantic sense then tell them. Make it happen as best you can, but don’t push it.
Obviously, I understand that if you’re coming out of serious relationship, flipping back into being good friends may be difficult; no one is saying you have to be friends immediately, if at all. Sometimes it’s too hard to get over that person and what they mean/meant to you.

What if I want something more/less than he/she does?
Respect is of utmost importance – to quote another song, you can’t make someone love you if they don’t. But you also can’t make someone not love you. Be respectful of the other person’s feelings if they differ from your own; you might be ready to be friends again, but they might need more time.
Or, if you’ve never been together romantically and one person wants to progress into that and the other doesn’t, then just be honest. Let them hide away for a week and lick their wounds, if that’s what they need, but remind them at the end of the day you’re still friends.

Does being jealous of my friend spending time with their other half mean that I’m attracted to them?
Not at all. You can miss someone’s company and their attention and not be attracted to them. If you used to get Pizza every two-for-Tuesday night, and now Tuesday night has been reallocated to their other half as date night, you’re allowed to miss that time together.

*

With 2015 just around the corner and hurtling towards us like a freight train, I encourage more people to take on the honesty philosophy...

If you want to see someone, tell them.
If you like someone, tell them.
What’s the worst that could happen?
 They don’t feel that way? At least you know.
If you miss someone, tell them.
If you want to call, call.
If you want to chat, then chat.
In the same sense...
If you don’t want to see someone, tell them.
If you don’t miss someone, don’t say it.

If I’ve learned anything recently, it’s to not say something if you don’t mean it.
Don’t say things for the sake of it, people will only get hurt and read into things that don’t mean what they want them to.

After graduating in October, it’s been hard enough entering the big bad world without picking and choosing who you’re going to be friends with based on their sex/sexual preferences. My friends all went back to their parent’s towns after University, I stayed in Winchester, so when it comes to new friends I’ve taken what I can and I’m ever-grateful for them all. I wouldn’t be without them.

Maybe I’m not the best person to be giving out relationship advice, but there’s so much chatter about how there is absolutely no possible way that people of the opposite sex could every be purely friends and it bugs me.

Rant over J the floor is now open to discussion...

Birthday in Brighton: Mexican Street Food at La Choza.

Good evening and welcome back. It was my birthday recently so my boyfriend surprised me with a day-trip to Brighton. Let me tell you how amazing this Mexican place we found was... Warning: FOOD PORN.
 
La Choza; the best Mexican street food I’ve ever tasted. 

After wandering around the beautiful Lanes in the birthday-Brighton sunshine, my boyfriend and I were both starved and steering away from chain store food, we favoured something a little more independent, a little more unique; a little more Brighton.
Open until 10pm everyday, we found La Choza and it’s cute outside tables on Gloucester Street; a little way from the Lanes but definitely worth the walk. James immediately ordered a beer on recommendation from our waitress who turned out to be the business owner and eventually, in high spirits, I went with a Passion Fruit Slushie. If you can’t have a Slushie drink on your 21^st birthday, then when can you?

After scanning the menu, I knew what I wanted. A homemade chorizo and melted cheese quesadilla. As soon as I read it, I knew it was what I had been craving all day. James went with a more filling burrito with spicy pork and salsa.
Although I have been to Brighton before, this was the first trip that I truly got to walk around and take everything in; James favourite record shop opposite Snooper’s Paradise on the North Lanes, the amazing street art and graffiti on the sides of all the buildings, my favourite being this Alice In Wonderland inspired piece – 

La Choza was the perfect addition to the day in Brighton, the staff were friendly and happy – the decor was completely to my taste and full of beautiful Dia De Los Meurtos skulls and the walls were papered with colouring in sheets finished by child customers.
By the time our food came we were ravenous – not because it took a while, but because we were so hungry to start with! Arriving in American-diner style plastic baskets it really was street food to go. My quesadilla was completely homemade and you could tell – the chorizo meat was ground and spiced in a way that you just can’t buy in the shops. James made his way through his burrito slowly but surely; it was such good food he wanted to finish it, but so filling!

My point is, if you’re looking for a gorgeous little independent food venue in Brighton, be it birthday-Brighton or not, please go see the guys at La Choza. They’re so friendly and laid back – they deserve our custom! It was so nice to find a place that weren't in a hurry to get us out and get a new table in, or rushing us through the meal. The atmosphere here is so easy it melts any troubles away.

Sorry about the photo quality, I’m no photographer. Please check out the La Choza links below and see if you can pop in and taste that Slushie!

La Choza on Facebook
La Choza on Twitter
La Choza on Instagram
La Choza on their own, beautifully designed, website. (Seriously, how pretty is it?!)

Til next time, stay safe. 
BarGirl. ♥

'Ello, Bar Girl here. Here's 10 Things.

Good evening and welcome, to the first post of the Adventures of Bar Girl blog. Here, you can read all kinds of shenanigans that I get up to in and around my favorite and not so favorite bars. Working in Winchester means you might see some of your favorite haunts popping in and out of my life, so feel free to tell me what you think; what you like and don't. I should probably let you know from the get go that I can be pretty opinionated. ♥

 Just to break you in...

 Here's my, current, 10 Bar Girl hates:

1. "What do you have on?" (...in reference to beers.)
What do I have on? You mean, aside from the fourteen pumps you can see in front of your face? Well... Would you like me to list every spirit and soft drink that we sell? That's going to take me a minute you self-centered ass. 

2. "Is this all you have?" (...Nope. I keep a secret stash under the bar.)
People ask me this all the time, as if I'm going to let them in on a super secret sleuth stash of beers under the bar that are only available for super special customers who ask. 
 
3. Please stop moving all my furniture to rearrange for abnormally large group. 
So there are twenty of you - that really doesn't impress me. Especially at five minutes to closing time. What would you like me to say? But of course, Sir. You drag all my chairs to one corner of the bar and huddle there with all your loud, drunken friends. (See point 6.)

4. "I can't make it in today, I'm sick." (Nothing to do with the fantastic sunshine today?) 
When my staff call in sick when they're not, it really bugs me. They don't seem to realize what they've done to the rest of us. You're just dropping out of a busy shift leaving the rest of us to pick up your slack. Don't bother coming back. Don't let me see you out drinking tonight either.

5. "HOW MUCH?!" (Don't bitch at me, I don't set the prices.) 
This one really has nothing to do with me. Please don't moan at me that your pint of Peroni only gives you 40p change from £5. You were the one to order one of the most expensive beers. 
 
6. "What time do you close?" (In five minutes) "Great. There's 12 of us."
Inconsiderate...GRUMBLE...I want to go home...pain in my ass... grumble grumble. 
 
7. "Okay, I'll take a burger. No bun. Hold the relish. But can I get extra mayo? And is your salad washed before it's served?" 
That's all well and good, but you clearly don't have dietry requirements. You're just being a tosser. I'm the one who has to face the almighty wrath of a Chef with the temper of a dragon. And of course the salad is washed!?
 
8. "I'll take a lager." (Fantastic. Am I meant to psychically know which one of six?)
Becks. Peroni. Carling. Fosters. Red Stripe. Pilsner. Grolsh. Staropramen. Same goes for ordering simply "Stella" when there's four different types of Stella on sale. Cidre. Stella 4. Stella Black. STELLA ARTOIS. 

9. You dragging your kids to a bar. (It's inappropriate and annoying.) 
Okay, I understand you guys want your family to spend quality time together but I'd much rather that wasn't in the middle of a football game when there's thirty louts at the bar and your precious little girl is screaming louder than them all. 
10. No hesitation, deviation or repetition. (Please) 
Don't repeat your orders or I'll make them twice, I can retain them the first time. Don't deviate from your original order, again... I will have retained the first order. Don't come to the bar if you don't know what you want, and once you have what you want GO AWAY. There are other people who need serving.
So, maybe that's enough for now. I'm sure more will come to me - they usually do. To anyone who thinks I'm being too harsh - you have clearly never worked in a bar. Any bar. Being in charge of Champagne at your great aunt Hildy's 60th birthday doesn't count. 

Til next time, stay safe. 
BarGirl. ♥