10 Reasons I'm NOT Into NYE.

Some people I know look forward to New Year's Eve like they look forward to their birthdays, to them I say no. I am not a fan of New Year's Eve and here’s a quick rundown as to why...

1.      Pressure to Plan!
Talk about pressure to plan; who are you going out with this year? Where are you guys going? What are you going to wear? Panic! Not to mention the few days before New Year’s Eve when everyone else is talking about their plans and you don’t have any yet. My favourite NYE so far was spent in with some close friends, cocktails and hot dogs. We danced, we drank, we played cards, we ate all kinds of food...What else do you need?

2.      Drink Up!
If you’re planning on going out this New Year, you’re sort of expected to be a certain level of drunk – a level that says you should be screaming out Auld Lang Syne along with the rest of them when the clock strikes. I’m all for a few glasses of fizz and a little wobbly moment when you realise that maybe that last cocktail wasn’t a sensible decision, but when you’ve had so many shots that you think it’s a good idea to lick spilt tequila off the bar maybe it’s time to call a taxi.

3.      Anticlimax?
Whether it’s 11pm, Midnight, 1am... everyone looks the same, her mascara is still running and he’s still got beer splashed on his shirt. Nothing’s new, nothing’s changed, and no one has suddenly developed all their moralistic resolutions.

4.      New Year’s Resolutions.
There’s always the standard ‘Oh, I’m going to lose ten pounds’ or ‘Yes, I’m going to go to the gym every other day!’ but most resolutions tend to circle work, love or finance. Resolutions are like horoscopes; vague, hard to stick to and a little bit pointless. Why make yourself have all of these goals, if the probability of sticking to them is so slim? Make yourself small goals throughout the year – they’re far more likely to be achievable and there’s no January pressure to guilt trip you.

5.      Crapuary.
Of course, January follows New Year’s Eve which can only mean a month of failed resolutions, expensive gym memberships, empty bank accounts, cutbacks left-right-and-center, need I go on?

6.      Phone Service/Taxi’s
Both are very hard to come by come NYE. Between 11pm and 1am there’s so much drama with who sent who a text because everyone is trying to get through on their phones it doesn’t always work. I always forget about Taxi’s being a problem until around 1am; I’m ready to go home, it’s cold outside and the whole of Winchester is having the same thoughts. Taxi’s are gold dust. Maybe just pre-book, if you can’t walk it? (Especially not in those shoes!)

7.      Endless 2014 Round-Ups.
How original, another top 10 images for 2014 list.
Or was it Top 10 YouTube videos?
No? Top 10 films/albums/singles of 2014?

8.      Spring Cleaning.
So you’ve bitten the bullet and taken down the tree – now everything is covered in glitter and dust so you might as well give the room a little spring clean, right? Well, if you’re going to do that room, you might as well do the whole house. Plus the bathrooms. And there you are, in your pyjamas, spending your Sunday spring cleaning your house for the New Year’s festivities.

9.      New Year’s Day Hangovers.
No stores are open, no matter what you need and if they do open, they only open in the morning and let’s face it no one is awake in the morning of New Year’s Day (Especially if you know that as you lay in bed, downstairs there is a plethora of empties and trodden in food waiting for you to clear up). Obviously, quite a large percentage of the population will be spending New Year’s Day either still drunk, or hung over, all putting off their vomit-inducing clear up, we need stores to be open.

10.  Christmas is officially over.
Until NYE, I can pretty much kid myself that it’s still Christmas and people are still wandering around wishing each other Happy Christmas – as soon as NYE is gone, Christmas is suddenly so far away again, and I’m a sucker for Christmas.

I’m sure you’re all judging me for not being the biggest NYE fan, but hey-ho.
It’s not for everyone. Feel free to let me know what YOU think, I'd love to hear what you're up to for NYE, or if you've got any set in stone New Years Traditions...
If you are headed out this Wednesday night please be safe; get home safe and above all have fun.

Happy New Year, buddy. 

Being Honest - Boys & Girls Can Be Friends.

In this installment on WhatLexySaid, I’ll be taking the age-old and long-pondered question of whether the lads and the ladies can be, oh-so-simply, just friends.

Before I elaborate entirely, I should give a small disclaimer that yes, I do believe we can all be friends without wanting to jump each other’s bones. If you disagree, this is your stop on the train of this discussion. Time to hop off; you’re the reason that eleven year olds don’t think they can be friends with the girls in their class because of the ridicule and teasing that their mere friendship can bring.

Anyway, now that we’re left with all the open-minded folk, let’s get down to it. 

Since I started secondary school, earlier than that... since primary school, I’ve had a predominance of male friends. I remember far more of the boys names from primary school than I do the girls. Does that make seven year old me a little sauce-pot? No, it doesn’t. 

Obviously, in Secondary School there came a time when I realised maybe I wanted to spend a little more time with certain guys, but that didn’t mean that I had to feel like that about all of my male friends. I understood that, it’s the people who don’t who seem to be the problem.

My first year at University, I ended up living with a boy as well as four girls. Nothing romantic has ever happened between us, and we’re still good friends to this day. Gasp-shock-horror? What? How is that even possible? This is just the way it is.  As with most of my male friends, we never made the conscious decision to inform the other person that we weren’t attracted to each other, it was unspoken yet known. For the predominance of my third year at University, there were usually more men in my house than there were ladies and my one female housemate and I would often find ourselves coughing and spluttering in a cloud of testosterone and Lynx Africa, among other things.
We weren’t attracted to them and they weren’t either. It was that easy.

My friend Grace reminds me however “if there is a hint of something more on the table it can get messy...” and of course, in true Gracie-fashion, she’s right. But that’s okay too. As long as you’re honest with each other, there doesn’t have to be any drama. As soon as you bring sex and all those feelings into the equation, a million more questions pop up and sometimes, like Rachel says - it’s never off the table but it’s always best to keep communication lines open and talk about it.

Once I’ve been with someone romantically, can we go back to being purely-platonic friends again?
I’m going to go with yes, on this one. Yes you can go back to being friends. Whether you’ve moved on to dating someone new or not, if you want that other person in your life but not in a romantic sense then tell them. Make it happen as best you can, but don’t push it.
Obviously, I understand that if you’re coming out of serious relationship, flipping back into being good friends may be difficult; no one is saying you have to be friends immediately, if at all. Sometimes it’s too hard to get over that person and what they mean/meant to you.

What if I want something more/less than he/she does?
Respect is of utmost importance – to quote another song, you can’t make someone love you if they don’t. But you also can’t make someone not love you. Be respectful of the other person’s feelings if they differ from your own; you might be ready to be friends again, but they might need more time.
Or, if you’ve never been together romantically and one person wants to progress into that and the other doesn’t, then just be honest. Let them hide away for a week and lick their wounds, if that’s what they need, but remind them at the end of the day you’re still friends.

Does being jealous of my friend spending time with their other half mean that I’m attracted to them?
Not at all. You can miss someone’s company and their attention and not be attracted to them. If you used to get Pizza every two-for-Tuesday night, and now Tuesday night has been reallocated to their other half as date night, you’re allowed to miss that time together.

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With 2015 just around the corner and hurtling towards us like a freight train, I encourage more people to take on the honesty philosophy...

If you want to see someone, tell them.
If you like someone, tell them.
What’s the worst that could happen?
 They don’t feel that way? At least you know.
If you miss someone, tell them.
If you want to call, call.
If you want to chat, then chat.
In the same sense...
If you don’t want to see someone, tell them.
If you don’t miss someone, don’t say it.

If I’ve learned anything recently, it’s to not say something if you don’t mean it.
Don’t say things for the sake of it, people will only get hurt and read into things that don’t mean what they want them to.

After graduating in October, it’s been hard enough entering the big bad world without picking and choosing who you’re going to be friends with based on their sex/sexual preferences. My friends all went back to their parent’s towns after University, I stayed in Winchester, so when it comes to new friends I’ve taken what I can and I’m ever-grateful for them all. I wouldn’t be without them.

Maybe I’m not the best person to be giving out relationship advice, but there’s so much chatter about how there is absolutely no possible way that people of the opposite sex could every be purely friends and it bugs me.

Rant over J the floor is now open to discussion...