Trust No Man; Fear No Bitch

The proverbial “they” say that trust is the key to happiness. But what happens if you’ve got no faith left to base your trust on? It turns out, having faith is a necessity to be able to trust people; you’ve got to have faith in the human race as a whole. I do have that, I really do, sometimes it just wavers slightly.
I’ve misplaced my trust so many times now; sometimes I’ve even actively watched myself do it. It’s not that I don’t want to trust anyone because I honestly do; I would be a lot happier if I knew there was someone in my life, male or female, that I could completely trust in. I look at my life at this moment in time, and I don’t see that person, or someone who has the potential to be that person.
Having been let down yet again by another man, or someone who calls himself a man, my faith has taken such a beating that I just don’t have any more trust to put in people; I can’t keep giving it away, if I’m only getting it stolen from me in the long run.

I’m really trying not to be a person with trust issues, but if people keep bottling out, and life is dealing me the ‘trust issues’ hand, should I just take it?

When I was younger, I mean, really young I used to think that I’d never have any emotional experiences. This is going to sound crazy I know, but I wanted to know what it felt like to be cheated on, to know what it felt like to have my heart on the floor, but also to know what it felt like to be head over heels in perfect love. Sadly, I’m nineteen this May and yet to find the latter. Many guys fit the mould, but all have fallen short. Not because I was testing them, but because they have pulled out of the race for one reason or another – sometimes without a reason totally.

“Forgiveness is such a simple thing, but so hard to do when you’ve been hurt” – Maybe I need to learn to forgive people before I can go about trusting new people. I’ll never forget the people who have hurt me, or broken my heart, but surely I should be able to move on? To forgive them? Because in 20 years or so, I’ll look back and realise how silly and petty everything was. At least, I hope I will.

Again going back to the proverbial “people”, People say that if a girl tells you her problems – it’s not because she’s bitching or moaning, it’s because she trusts you. I trusted the people I told my problems to. Maybe that’ll be another new year’s resolution; don’t talk about your problems to people. Don’t trust people who haven’t earned it 50 times over. Watch what you say and to whom you say it. Tell no secrets. Trust no man. Fear no bitch.