Showing posts with label Alexandra Brookman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alexandra Brookman. Show all posts

Monday, 16 December 2013

My Caffeine Addiction.

My boyfriend and I are spending Christmas with my Mum this holiday; my first Christmas with him and my first Christmas taking him home with me. I’m looking forward to it more than you could possibly imagine. However there is one thought at the back of mind that pipes up occasionally.
“Will Mum mind I’m drinking Monster all day?”


Monster being a 500ml can of energy drink with about 250 calories per can. It’s probably where I get most of my calorie intake from. And I admit, I have a slight addiction to it and the addiction to Monster has developed into an addiction to Caffeine. I definitely drink less of it than I used to, but I still drink over the recommended daily allowance I’m sure of it.
Caffeine is messing with my, already messed up, sleeping schedule. For example, on Saturday night I slept from 8pm till midnight, then I was awake for an hour but asleep again by 1am to sleep through till 730am when my alarm went off on Sunday morning. In contrast, last week I fell asleep at 8pm, woke up again at 10pm then cleaned the bathroom with bleach from top to bottom, followed by our bedroom and was still awake at 1am when my boyfriend got home from work.  
This morning I woke up at 1030am, was out of the house by 1 and now at 230pm I’m yawning at my screen. No rhyme or reason to anything anymore.
The withdrawal headaches and the sleeping stresses are enough to make me suggest something I never said I could do; I’m going to give up Monster for 2014. I’ll still have a caffeine intake, because I don’t think it would be safe to take such a staple part of my diet away so quickly, but it will only be from coffee and any painkillers cut with caffeine. I will drink more water, because I will never want to be dehydrated again. I will not buy four-packs of Monster from the shop on the corner.

Adding it up in my head, if I give up Monster I’ll actually save a substantial amount of money. Here’s a week of my life, and the Monster’s I consume.

Monday – One on the way to first class, before second class, one at home.

Tuesday  - One in the morning, two at night.

Wednesday – One on the way to work, one when I come home.

Thursday – One on the way to work, one when I come home.

Friday  - One on the way to class, one after.

Saturday – One on the way to work, one after.

Sunday – One on the way to work, one after.

So… at an average of £1.19 a can, I spend £17.85 on Monster a week. I could quite happily have an extra £20 to spend on something else; the winter boots I really need, next semester’s books, birthday presents…

Therefore I, Lex, proclaim that from January 1st 2014 I will give up Monster. Unless shit really goes down, because in that case I’m a weakling little bitch and need to fall back on my crutches. Sorry.  

Monday, 18 November 2013

Nevermind November.

I'm tired. Very tired.
I'm selfish. My laptop's just died it's final death. No resurrection possible. (My guess, anyway.)
I'm putting off writing my Dissertation by writing this.
I'm putting off my essay about American Conspiracies by writing this.
I'm thinking of doing a Masters, which means oned ay my name might be;
Miss Lex Brookman MA
...Or something like that.

I have a meeting at 9am with my designated dissertation supervisor and I am regretting deciding to book in at 9am. Why so early?
Every monday evening with tuesdays 9am meeting looming, I sigh into bed dreading the next day. I never thought University would be like that.
I assumed thast University would inspire me and make me a better person. Okay, so it probably has, but the magic is fading.

I'm in my third year. My first semester of my third year and God only knows what I'm going to do next year if I don't do a Masters. Am I more employable with a Masters?
Can I take another year of working alongside University to pay the bills?
Can I take another year of working in the same God forsaken pub with the same people?

I have no idea.
But I do know that I don't want to have to worry about it anymore.

I need to find a place to live.
I need to find another job.
I need to talk to someone about the possibility of me getting a 2:1 on this degree.
I need to talk to someone about the possibility of me getting onto a Masters course I may actually enjoy and benefit from.
Most importantly and on top of all of that, I need to make time for my boyfriend who never stops trying to make time for me.

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

JK Rowling; The Saviour

God knows what I would have done throughout my childhood without the Harry Potter books to keep me sane, but for other people out there in the world these books were literally life saving reading material. 

Evanna Lynch, aged 11, battled Anorexia for 2+ years until she managed to gather the courage to write to her author-hero JK Rowling. The Irish actress, Evanna, wrote to Rowling to thank her for the magical wizarding world of Harry Potter that she could escape to; the books gave her "hope". 

Writing back "like a councellor" Rowling encouraged Evanna, through multiple letters to overcome her eating disorder with bravery and then to strive for the role of Luna Lovegood; the role Evanna is now famous for creating. Miss Lynch is noted to have looked up to Luna throughout reading the novels thus amplifying the significance if her finally landing the role. 

"Anorexia is destructive, not creative. The brave thing to do was not to succumb to it..." Lynch recalls from the resonating advice given by Joanna "Jo" Rowling. 
Evanna is now a survivor of Anorexia and has not returned to her disorder, she's pursuing her acting career and also working with the Harry Potter Alliance Charity where she gets to write and talk to young girls about body issues. 

Thank you, JK. 

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Winchester Tells Everyone...

To my horror, a student at Winchester University has created a Facebook page; "Winchester University Tell Him/Her"
This webpage allows you to send in tips and things you haven't got the guts to say in person, which are then posted anonymously on the Facebook page, for all to see.
Does that ring a bell? Set us on The Upper East Side and we've got our very own Gossip Girl.


This is a bad thing. Obviously. Whether the things posted are true or not, it's a degrading way of dealing with things that we are old enough to know how to cope with by now. I had more faith in my generation, that we wouldn't resort to some kind of Gossip Girl - Burn Book. It would seem I was wrong.

"Calling somebody else fat will not make you any thinner. Calling somebody stupid will not make you any smarter. And you've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores.It just makes it all right for guys to call you that."
 
Does that sound familiar? It should. It's from the world-famous movie Mean Girls. And I hate to side with cliche, but it's true. What's the point in standing up for ourselves constantly if everyone else believes it's okay to publically humiliate us and tear us down all the time?

Although not personally affected by the website, why am I the only person who feels this is a terrible idea?
I expected more of you Winchester.

Lex.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Winchester University SU Awards

Let me start by congratulating my housemate Demi Snape (@DemiSnape) on her award that she recieved yesterday; Fundraiser Of The Year for her work with Cure Leukaemia. Millie is Demi's cousin and is six; she was diagnosed with Leukaemia last year. Demi, being the family-girl that she is, took it upon herself to jump, freefall out of a plane with Go SkyDive. 10,000ft through the air, Demi made all her friends and her family so proud. Overall, Demi has raised just under £600, on JustGiving, towards her cousin's medical treatments as well as the same again for the Cure Leukaemia Charity.
Attending the ceremony with Demi just made us all more proud of our girl, not just for the fact that she smashed every target she set herself but also for the fact that she is being recognised for it. She desereved all the praise for what she's done both for Millie and Cure Leukaemia.
"I have loved being able to give some money to a wonderful cause,. A massive thank you goes out to Go Skydive for being absolutely incredible today and again thank you to you all for showing support for children with Cancer it means so much to me..." said Demi, on her Facebook page, on the day of her dive.

Demi is just one of my friends who are doing spectactular things on a daily basis, whether it's being promoted at work or being hired for the Entertainments, Communications and Welfare Officers through Winchester University's Student Run Elections.
As I sit on the sofa, moan about how I don't have the right flavour of Monster Energy Drink or how the next episode of Grey's Anatomy wont load on my computer I muse on all the things I could be doing, if I tried.
I want to try for things I really do, it's just the fear of failing that holds me back.
This all started last night at the Awards Show, my four friends socialising and networking with everyone, setting up meetings for the week about how to make our University a better place to be when I'm stood rocking back and forward on my Jeffery Campbell Spiked Lita's. I don't know anyone or anything...

Maybe it's time for that to change.
I'm going to try and find a pro-active hat to put on.
If I can find one in the mass of clothes, pizza boxes and Monster Energy/Stella Artois cans that is my bedroom floor.

Maybe I'll have an amazing story of my proactivity to tell you, next time.
Maybe.
Lex. X

Sunday, 17 March 2013

What Fresh Hell Is This? A Brief Look at Dorothy Parker.


Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
and drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful,
Nooses give.
Gas smells awful,
You may as well live.
                                   Dorothy Parker – Resume (Enough Rope, 1926)

I first heard Resume when watching one of my favourite movies; Girl Interrupted (Angelina Jolie, 1999) and only recently have I learned it was a Dorothy Parker poem. Parker attempted four times to kill herself,  by means including slitting her wrists and an overdose, however death waited until all her friends were dead and blessed her with a fatal coronary on June 7, 1967.
Still, before her death in ’67, Parker was one of the most accomplished female writers of her time known for her dependency on alcohol (a result of failed marriages, miscarriages and affairs) as well as her sharp tongue and personal quotes still used today in modern culture.  Surely you have heard the phrase “What fresh hell is this?” or one of my personal favourites “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
In my research for this piece, it would seem Dorothy Parker first said “What fresh hell is this?” to a caller who had interrupted her creative flow one day.  I’m sure we’ve all had moments like that. Having liked it so much, Parker took to answering the phone like this always; another trait to add to her character of sardonic wit and quick thinking.
Her horticulture line came to her in seconds. After her career took off at Vanity Fair, where she wrote theatre criticism temporarily as a stand-in for PG Woodhouse; Parker, her close friend Robert Benchley and Robert E. Sherwood began lunching at The Algonquin Hotel on a daily basis. This spawned the birth of the Algonquin Round Table. A group of witty writers would gather, muse on life, and toss ideas to one another, competing in writing exercises. Reminiscent of many creative writing classes, one idea was that they must use a certain word in a short poem. The chosen word; horticulture. Dorothy Parker’s attempt; “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”
I’ve chosen to look more into Dorothy Parker’s life more than her works because I supposed there must surely be some emotionally crippled, sarcastic, flippant woman of the 20’s behind her works.  Turns out I was right. Unbeknownst to her suicide attempts when I started this piece, it only intrigued me further. Why I didn’t catch on sooner, I’ll never know; with a book entitled Enough Rope (1926) you’d think that would have struck a chord? Although the chosen title of her book does pose questions, keeping her penchant for suicide in mind – is she searching for enough rope? Does she finally have enough rope? Will there ever be enough rope?

Monday, 11 February 2013

Summer In NYC; 2010



The summer of 2010 I was halfway through my BTEC national diploma in Performing Arts and my French A Level when I moved transatlantic to stay in New York for a month and a half. I was in heaven.
I’d just come back from performing at a festival in Oostende in Belgium but nothing could have prepared me for the sticky summer city heat that I felt when I got off my plane at JFK – I’ve never known a city so humid. London is never that bad in the summer.
Thinking I’d be spending my summer in a normal city I had only packed jeans, t-shirts and the occasional summer dress. I should have known, NYC is not a normal city. The city that doesn’t sleep; the big apple.
I’m a city girl at heart and living in London for most of my life I’ve noticed – these cities have their personalities. London is the promiscuous Miss that’ll go straight out after work, dance and drink until the walls can’t hold her up, find someone to go home with and then appear back at work the next day in yesterday’s eyeliner and a dress that also looks vaguely similar. Manhattan is the socialite butterfly flitting from Fifth Avenue, to Central Park, to a bar to a house party in the village before rushing back up town as the sun rises to squeeze in breakfast with her family.
As well as the cities, the inhabitants certainly have some interesting character traits about them. John T Cahill for example, wore an expensive suit and handmade shoes. He was so uber friendly I had begun to wonder if I’d walked into a movie. He was a business man, and he asked if I as new to the city (clearly I had a sign on my back reading New York Virgin, or it could be the constant look on my face of amazement). I met him on one of my first days in Manhattan whilst I was walking around the 1.58 mile jogging track which surrounds the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir, otherwise just known as the Central Park Reservoir. We only spoke for about ten minutes but before going on his own way, he gave me his card and said if I ever needed a tour of the city, he’d be delighted.  A part of me always thought he thought I was a little older than I was; me stood there, wide-eyed and reasonably innocent, having only just turned seventeen.  When I look back on it now there had to have been something a little unsavory about his character.
Crumbs Bakery on 93rd street played host to my next meet cute with a New York random. His name now escapes me but he looked vaguely like Jeremy Renner (Hawkeye, Avenger’s Assembled.) He was wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with TEXAS across his chest. Having grown accustomed to the perfect homemade lemonade, the idyllic mix of sweet and sour, that the Crumbs Bakery provided, Crumbs had become a regular pit stop for me in the sweaty heat.
So, killing some time chatting to Texas and his highly intellectual young son Achilles Alexander was fine by me. (I don’t remember Texas’ name, but Achilles Alexander is a name you tend not to forget ) We chatted about Manhattan, the topic of everyone’s conversation no matter if New York virgin like me or New York born and bred like Texas. Then  Achilles had finished his cookies and it was time for them to skateboard home.
I was staying in an apartment on 87th and Lexington, on the fifth floor of an amazing building with a doorman. Having a doorman was an incredibly new experience for me. Someone to hold the door open for you, tell you about the weather, take in your take aways, hail you a cab, say hi to you every day and this particular doorman always made baby small talk with city dog; Brody. Brody was a small, hairy yet cuddly dog of undefined breed, who inhabited the apartment with me. Part of the deal of my staying there was that I walk Brody morning and night. Admittedly it was more midday and midnight, but either way, the dog got walked.
Along with Brody, the apartment was everything I needed and more. Two lounge areas separated by a partitioned wall, a single room, a perfectly adequate sized kitchen and a double master bedroom with an ensuite bathroom which was off limits to me. But not apparently to my cousin who occasionally frequented the apartment (his parents owned it). I thought he was Manhattan’s golden boy attending Hunter College and looking at prospective Universities this summer, but it turns out he actually likes to invite his friends over and sit in the ensuite bathtub with them, smoking weed with his stuck up, Upper East Side friends.
For an example of their uppity behaviour, my cousin Zachary and his friend Ian were paying, parting with actual dollars, to learn how to do a back flip; because it’s something so necessary to know in the Manhattan life style.  A professional back flip teacher was instructing them – for God’s sake. Come on, find an open space and teach yourself if your heart is so set on it.  They have the vast open space that is Central Park on their doorstep and yet they choose to trek all the way to Brooklyn to flip into a pile of foam blocks.
(NB; Smoking weed in a public place is an offence, it is not however in your own property or on The Great Lawn in Central Park. From what I’ve heard, the Great Lawn is similar to Speaker’s Corner – you can pretty much get away with anything.)
Zachary was only a year older than me so when it came time for him to leave the city for a weekend to visit Universities in Washington DC, I tagged along for the ride out of curiosity.  We stayed in a delightful middle of the range hotel called The Georgetown Suites (1111 30th Street, NW) -  the hotel is located right in the centre of Georgetown which meant the rows of idyllic shops, on M Street, were not far away. I particularly enjoyed the whole store dedicated to Ben and Jerry’s (something I have never seen in the UK.) Staying in DC, however was the only time I’ve ever had anything stolen from me, the night we happened to visit Ben and Jerry’s after dinner at a local restaurant I realised my sunglasses had been stolen. So to all you New York safety sceptics, I felt safer in the heart of NYC than I did in DC.
We had bookings to visit George Washington University as well as American University and The University of Georgetown. I went to the Georgetown viewing but quickly realised, as beautifully architecturally  built historic G-Town was, I could find other things I was more interested in seeing than the inside of a classroom I’m never going to study in. Or should that be, seeing the inside of a classroom I could never afford to study in? $20,000 per year is not something I happened to have sat at home.
In one short afternoon in the sweltering DC summer, way hotter than Manhattan by the way, I walked to the Lincoln Memorial, all the way along the mall, up the pool of reflection to the WWII memorial, down to the obelisk and finally back up to the White House. I must have walked miles that day. I distinctly remember sitting on the lawn in front of the White House and thinking that this would be the closest I was ever going to be to Obama; I’m actually okay with that.
After Zachary was done in DC, we headed back to Manhattan. I was glad for the excursion, but I still felt I was missing out on things happening in the city. Before I went to DC, I’d been in New York for almost two weeks, in that time I’d managed to do most of the touristic sight-seeing that everyone expects you to do. In one afternoon, I did Wall Street, Staten Island, The Statue Of Liberty and I’d wandered around Grand Central a lot too.
My visit was ten years after the 9/11 attacks, and I did feel compelled to visit the memorial site at Ground Zero. A massive void marks the place where the towers once stood now surrounded by rows upon rows of memorials. FDNY- Never Forget. PDNY – Never Forget.  A bronze plaque runs along a building next to the site and it reads “Dedicated to those who fell, and those who carry on.” That saying and my time spent at Ground Zero stayed with me for the rest of my trip even though I was only eight  in 2001 when the news billowed with smoke and sirens and even after ‘d come back from DC to start living in NYC, instead of holidaying.
In one of my remaining weeks in NYC, I visited The East Village taking in the student meets bohemian feel.  I remember particularly enjoying lunch at The Life Cafe, reading The Village Voice. The Life Cafe is where Jonathan Larson chose to set his rock opera version of Puccini’s La Boheme; Rent. I had performed  in my theatre company’s version of Rent the October previous to my trip, so this lunch felt slightly like a pilgrimage to the place where bohemian life was all anyone ever needed.
Rounding off my trip, there was only one more NY tradition to indulge in; Broadway. I managed to convince a friend to come with me to see Burt Bacharach’s “Promises Promises” starring Kristin Chenoweth (Wicked, Pushing Daisies, Glee) and Sean Hayes (Jack in Will & Grace). With dancers with legs like the Rockettes and singers that sent shivers down my spine, it was a thoroughly engaging performance. My friend enjoyed it equally as much, because a few weeks after my arrival back in London, I received an email about how he’d taken his whole family back again.
When I look back on my time in New York now, three years down the line, I remember it all like it was last summer. Looking through the thousands of photos stirs the feelings of a battle between innocence and independence that I was riddled with at the time. I filled my spare time with visits to Barnes & Noble, I spent far too much money on Pinkberry, and I fell in love with the Starbucks’ drink only available in America, and so perfect on a humid day in the city; Passion Tea Lemonade.
If I could take certain people back with me, I would go tomorrow. The city changes just as fast as I do and I know I won’t be able to stay away from the bright lights of Manhattan forever. I miss sitting on the steps of the MET just watching the world go by, finally finding  Strawberry Fields in Central Park right next to The Dakota Building that John Lennon was shot at, finding the cutest little stationary shop in Grand Central, lunch in Union Square reading Teen Vogue and Seventeen magazines. Oh, and who could forget my little moments in Crumb’s Bakery on 93rd street?
One warning to anyone planning a day in Brooklyn, I would get the metro. Walking bridge is an initially a great idea but when you’re just as far in as you’ll ever be off the other side and you’ve been walking across for twenty minutes, you’ll regret that decision. I speak from experience.

Sunday, 10 February 2013

A Week Of Firsts (03.03.12)


So this week, I have done a number of things I have never done before. I found a deep dark love for croissants that I had been harbouring. I ran for ten minutes on a treadmill at level eight. I went into a bunch of vintage stores in Winchester.
However, the “first” I’m choosing to talk to you about this week is a little more prominent for me, than discovering my love for 95p each croissants.
I was sat at The County Arms last night, on a table outside, a choice I soon regretted as I was only wearing a skinny vest and tracksuit bottoms. I sat with four of my closest friends, and a slightly older gentleman who had a pile of important looking papers in front of him.
“Any questions?” The older gentleman asked, whose name I later remember to be David Birmingham. We all nervously shook our heads. Tonight was the night we signed our housing contract, meaning that after weeks of trawling through websites and walking round and round Stanmore and Weake, I finally have a place to call my house for next year.
For me, just like all my friends, this was our first time ever signing a legally binding contract. This was a big commitment for me, I mean I can only commit to the gym, or a relationship for about a month before I start getting itchy feet, let alone a house for a whole year.
But, I can do this. I’m growing up – I live at University, I do my own washing, I buy my own Sugapuffs now. I can do this. These were the thoughts rushing through my head as I picked up the pen, focussing my eyes on the dotted line next to my name. Momentarily, before signing on that dreaded dotted line, I looked at my friends.  They looked nervous. My friend Katie, the most organised out of us all, nodded at me encouragingly. She wanted this house so badly – we all did. I looked at the envelope in my lap. £525 of my overdraft sat in front of me, waiting for me to hand it over.
A small moment of doubt in my mind, what else could I spend that money on?  I could afford that Green Day shirt I wanted. A new laptop, a new phone;  all materialistic things, I am aware.
No – I need this house. We need this house.
Back in reality, I focussed again on the line and began signing my name. With each swirl of my cursive handwriting, I thought of another reason why I wanted to spend this money on other things. I’ve actually never spent this amount of money on anything before; the most expensive thing I have ever bought was my laptop and that came out around £400. Still, my sensible side got the better of me as I finished up, and passed the pen to Dan sitting next to me. It was his turn to panic now.
But as I watched Dan go through the same process I had just been through, I exhaled. The tension in between my shoulders eased as I rolled my neck.  This wasn’t so bad; maybe this actually was me growing up. I’m signing contracts. I’m getting my own house. I’ve got a house. 

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

A Visit From A Royal...


A royal what?
No-no an actual Royal. 
A member of the Royal family. 
Brother of the more well-known Prince Charles (aka The Prince Of Wales), we were visited by Prince Edward, Earl Of Wessex. He was officially opening the new St.Alphege building at The University Of Winchester. A building I'd been having classes in for the past 3 months.
Being almost fifty he looked good for his age, but he still wasn’t the twenty eight year old Prince Harry I would have much preferred a visit from. Still, Harry is probably off gallivanting in Vegas, doing God knows what with God knows who.
Anyway, it was the morning of Tuesday, 29 January  when Prince Edward graced our class with his presence. Half way through a class actually; Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood.
Cameras and reporters from The Hampshire Chronicle and The Echo milled around the room, as I sat there: hair sticking up all funny from the rain, yesterdays clothes and barely one cup of coffee inside me, incredibly photogenic.
The brief conversation Prince Edward had with our group now deserts me – it can’t have been that scintillating. I do however; remember noting how...unroyal he looked. No sparkly crown, no jewels, no luxurious red cape trimmed with white feathers...
I was disappointed. The Mayor had more bling than the Prince. He was rocking his ostentatious gold chain. Standard.
Gone as quickly as he arrived, it seemed the mental list of inappropriate things to say, forced manners and nerves were soon redundant. I must admit, when we received our ‘one minute warning’ of our guests approach, it did feel vaguely reminiscent of a film when the President of the USA is in the building.
If Prince Edward really wants to see our University in action, with students in their natural habitats, maybe he should amend his visiting times and check out the local watering hole. Make it midnight, on a Wednesday at the SU.
If Harry is anything to go by, the royals know how to party.